Currently Reading The Da Vinci Code By Dan Brown see related

New Life

New Habit

New Food

New Shape

New Me......

And it's all gettin BETTER

*yawn* I'm sleepy... But must aware bc still have a LOT of HW. Gyaaaa~~ xP I'm doomedd~~ Yama-chaaannnnnn where are u when I need u so desperately...... :`< *sobs*

Btw... I met him today... And I seat near him. We're talking.... And as usual, he teased me... Goshhh~~ I always feel nervous everytime he looks at me with his eyes... He have a really deep eyes.... (WtFffftt!!! Did I just adore him?) Well, he ask me why I became so skinny? Suddenly my friend beside me said "Nah, don't say it Jeng, I'm afraid he will like u if u tell him" Auuuwww.... I'm nervous!!! But the thing I always remember was when he try to courage me regain my healthiness. He said that I should stop eating vegetables and start to eat foods with protein again to regain my condition! (can't help it! I love veggie!). He even asked me why I like veggie so much... "Eat normally Jeng you're too skinny ryt now" He said that to me... I was like "Yea... I will." It's rare to see both of us agree with something! Ha ha! Well... Thank him for today... I have a GREAT day because of him. Ha ha ha... (Crap! I feel embarassed!)

Well, I must do my hw ryt now.... Ouw.... Just want to write the food I ate today...

Morning : red bean muffin 1 pcs, kolak (it's Indonesian traditional beverage!)

Lunch : Steamed rice, chili fish, long bean soy vegetables, krupuk (fish chips), Papaya!

Dinner : Banana!! (Yay! Love it so muchhh!!)

I'm tired being someone they want...

Wont they just let me be what I want?

Grounded and insecure isn't what I want...

Don't ask me to do it if I don't like it...

And just accept me the way I am...

I don't like it when u're going to make a plan of my future...

Don't decide that! You're not a god! I choose my own life...

Don't protest with me if I'm not agree with you...

And don't try to push me to be the one u want... Because I'm only a human... Please understand that...

I want to apologize... Shi.... forgive me okay.... My Internet server got break down for 4 days so I can't chat with u last week. Just tell me what can I do to fix my mistake...

I've got a big problem about my healthiness.... My weight keep losing through the time... I'm so afraid I've got eating disorder disease... And right now, I'm on a program to make my body healthy again... Must eat healthy foods everyday! My mother is so fricken afraid about my body, she told me to stop diet and eat like a normal people, but I don't know, I feel more safe and secure if I'm starving. I hope I can make my body healthy without changing its posture.

Listening to Natural a lot! Ha ha, I copied the album than listening to it and keep the original safe. Ha ha.... I don't want to ruin my original cds.

It's about him again. Goshhh~~ Just want to tell the story... On Saturday, He actually didn't have a class that day but he suddenly show up in univ. When I saw him, he saw me back and staring at me for 5 seconds or so I don't know but it's quite long. On Monday, I didn't see him on class and any other places around. I feel sad somehow but try to focus on another thing. But guess what, when I'm on my way to pick up my sister after class, My friends (and his friend too of course) car suddenly showed up beside my car and he's there in the backseat greeted me. Is this coincidence? Don't know.... The next day, we have a same class and after the class was finished, he teases me again as always by saying "Jeng, try to walk in front of me, so I can see how u're floating and not walking." than he laugh! I wonder why he enjoy it so much! It's annoy me a bit but I can't help to smile and laugh too. I just answer it with "Shit u shut up!". I remember when He apoligized to me he said "Jeng so sorry for all the mistakes I've done and makin u mad... I've done a lot of mistakes." then we're shaking hands. I'm so shocked and amazed that time. I didn't think he would said that word and he seems so serious with it. It showned in his face and eyes!

I can't believe I write this much talking about him. Noooooooo!! Don't tell me that I really REALLY like him!! Nooooo!! Yama-chan is the BEST!!!!! I don't want to cheat on Yama-chan!!

Edit : I want to write and confess about my Friday. On Friday, I'm attending a farewell party for somewhat called commitee or whatever. He's there also of course, because we're on the same commitee for a special ocassion in my University. When we're all eating, I sat not too far from him. And as always, he and his friend teasing me countless time and just having fun with it (ceh! They're so annoying in someway...). When one of my friend also teasing me by saying "Don't eat that, it has a lot of calories Ajeng!" then I answered it with "What do u mean by that? I'm not on a diet anymore! Just shut up!" And when I stared at him, I found that he's staring at me sooooo SERIOUSLY, with his deep eyes!! (I feel nervous somehow!), then I said "And why are u staring at me like that?!" He still staring at me silently. Then one of my friend suddenly said "He is impressed by you Ajeng!" and the others start to tease us by saying like "Woohoo!! We have a couple here!". I'm so fuckin nervous!! And just said "Yea, yea, here we go again..." But the thing I never forget is when he said "Yeah, just make it a gossip please." after that. He want me and him become a gossip through the faculty. I somewhat happy even though I know he's not serious with that and he might be just want to be famous. Well... It's quite makin me smiles when I remebered about it. Maybe.... Yea, I admit, I like him.... But love... Nahh.... Don't even think that way! Still fall in love with Yama-chan! Huehehe...

Currently Watching The Lord of the Rings - The Return of the King (Widescreen Edition) By Viggo Mortensen, Ian McKellen, Elijah Wood see related

Huwaaaahhh.... Writing a new post! Yay! Hmm... Nothing changed...

Ouw! I guess some THINGs are changed.... Yeah well, I feel embarassed to write in here... But... Oh well i'll be honest, *sigh* I have change my opinion and feeling towards my friend. He maybe not very close to me but, I feel something when he talked to me. Maybe it's just my wrong senses but I kind of feel his deep eyes are drowning into me when he talked to me (Ouw Shit! How can I be this sentimental?). Okay I know this is so embarassing thing but... I need to speak it out because I can't stand keeping it by myself. He likes to tease me when we meet. I don't know if he's mean to tease me or not but I take his word as a teasing. At the beginning, I just let his teasing and acted angry for a response, even ignored him. But recently, I feel different when he teases me. He, in my opinion, always find a way and using the same reason to tease me... And the way he tease me... I don't know but after he tease me, he look at me for quite a long time (just like observing something!) then smiles. I don't know what to write anymore.... Even I hate this happening to me.... I confusedddd......... Gaaaahhhhh!!

Btw, I have a guess since Monday. It's my Mom's friend and her daughter and son. Yup! I met Natasha (the daughters) again after a long time..... She's still small and pretty! And funny! I like her so much! And we shared the room! Ouw! and I met a new people, it's Natasha's brother, Richard! He's tall, skinny, and sooo british... He's a true england.. He always excited talking about movies and all! It's so comfort talking to him! Feel like meeting an old friend! They're left for Bali right now but will come back again... Hope I get to see them before they went back to England... Ha!